Why Didn't My Loved One Get Healed?

Many have written us and said, “I prayed and used my faith for my loved one to live, and they died.” First of all, I understand how terribly sad and disheartening this can be. I, too, have had this experience with loved ones.

Our spirits in us know that it is not the perfect will of God when someone dies from disease, and it grieves us when it happens. However, there is a good and scriptural explanation for why we are not always able to rescue our loved ones from tragedy, disease, or premature death.

I want to share three potential causes why we can’t always help our loved ones recover.

1.     No person can override the will of another person.

No matter how much you want your loved one to recover and live, you still cannot override what they actually want. God has a will for all of us, but not even His will can override another person’s will.

For example, 2 Peter 3:9 tells us:

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

We all know that even though God doesn’t want anyone to perish spiritually, many have not willed to accept the free gift of salvation. God has given every person the gift of a free will. We may really want someone we know to receive salvation, but we cannot make them receive Jesus against their will. This works the same way in any arena. If we cannot force someone to receive salvation, we certainly cannot force someone to receive healing.

Even Jesus had a free will. He struggled greatly with the temptation to not go to the cross or hell for us. Thank God, in the end, Jesus submitted His will to the will of the Father.

Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. (Luke 22:42 KJV)

You may be thinking, “I understand all of this, but I personally heard my loved one confess that they believed they were healed and that they wanted to recover and live.” This leads us to the second potential cause for a loved one not recovering and dying prematurely.

2.     People often have weak faith.

Weak faith doesn’t make someone a bad person. The Bible teaches that there are different measures of faith people have. There is weak faith, strong faith, ever increasing faith, and little faith, according to the scriptures.

A person could be diagnosed with a terminal illness that doesn’t give them much time to live. They may desire to be healed and live. But if they start out in a state of weak or little faith, they may not have enough time to develop their faith to the level needed to receive healing. If the battle is difficult, they will likely faint if they are not strong spiritually.

Proverbs 24:10 says,

If you faint in the day of adversity,

Your strength is small.

Our spirits must be strong to surrender to the will of God instead of the will of the flesh. Jesus rebuked Peter, James and John for falling asleep during prayer. During His greatest hour of need, they could not stand with Him for one hour.

Here is the reason why they were unable to stand:

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26:41 KJV)

People are often willing to be healed, but if they suffer long enough, and they don’t spend enough time in prayer and study of the Word, their flesh will talk them into going to Heaven instead of fighting the good fight of faith. And there is absolutely no condemnation here, for to depart and be with Jesus is far better.

Many have asked, “Shouldn’t my faith have made up the difference?” The prayer of faith in Mark 11:24 is meant to work for you personally. We can add our agreement to that of our loved one, but we cannot ultimately do the work of believing for them.

3.     Your loved one may not have wanted to disappoint you.

Many have been convinced that their loved one was in faith, but they still died anyway. This type of thinking will only lead to being angry at God. Always remember that God is never the problem. If someone fails to receive, they missed it somewhere on their end because God does not miss it.

When your loved one knows that you are standing and praying for them, they will often not let you know when they give up. Many years ago, I was believing intently for someone I loved very dearly. They were dying of cancer.

After months of visiting almost daily, praying, and going over healing scriptures with them, they said to me, “I don’t want to live anymore.” I was devastated. They died shortly after that. Looking back, I could see that I wanted them to live more than they wanted to live. This will not get the job done.

They never spent any time in the Word of God and prayer when I was not with them. Instead, they watched secular television. But they did not want to disappoint me, so they kept quiet about it until the very end.

Here is a final thing that’s important for us to know:

I have attempted to give you a few causes for why a loved one you were standing in faith for died. We all seek to understand these things to help us better navigate our own life, and help the ones we love. However, we also learn an important truth from Deuteronomy chapter 29.

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.  (Deut. 29:29 NKJV)

This verse tells us that some things are simply none of our business. If the Lord wants us to know why someone died prematurely, He can let us know. But many times, it is between the Lord and that individual, and we have to be alright with not knowing.

Just because someone fails to receive doesn’t mean that God’s Word doesn’t always work, or that you never know what God will do. False doctrine has been created over the years to justify people when they fail to receive. It is always best to choose God’s Word over personal experiences.

For our own personal lives, if we will diligently seek the Lord, He will reveal the way out of every sickness and disease. So take courage today. God is still good, He loves you, and He wants you well!

If you're in the Aurora/Naperville area and are looking for a church that teaches the uncompromising Word of God, we invite you to visit Abundant Life Family Church. As a Word and Spirit church, we are committed to helping believers grow in faith, experience the power of God, and walk in His promises. Our services are filled with dynamic worship, Bible-based teaching, and an atmosphere where the Holy Spirit moves. Whether you’re searching for a church home or seeking a deeper relationship with God, we welcome you to join us and be part of a thriving community of faith!